Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize