went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
