so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
