That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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