Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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