New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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