My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
