I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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