dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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