Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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