I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
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