Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
