So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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