only if we run a train.
done.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
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At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
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Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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