I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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