Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
You can't special order awesome
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
