I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
