piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You made out with two different species that night
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
