i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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