Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You need Xanax blowdarts
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
