The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
When are your genitals available?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
