I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
