Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
