If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
