at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i permit you to call me
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
