You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
