she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
