OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Randomize
