just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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