I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize