Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
