I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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