escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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