I just made out with a guy for $7.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
When are your genitals available?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
