We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize