There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
