is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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