she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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