Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
