Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
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