i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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