I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize
