Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Terrible idea I love it
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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