Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
