he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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