If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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