Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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