shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much rum. So many feels.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize