seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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