The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize