that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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