there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
