Where is the hickey?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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