White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
