piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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