yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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